Goodnight Sweet Ferret

Landmark Series 30 of Last of the Summer Wine has just finished with the episode Goodnight Sweet Ferret. Despite it being a landmark series it did not feature anything special, in fact it could be one of the worst series yet. It is still unknown if their will be a 31st series but despite ‘Hobbo’ being very annoying I hope their is. Why doesn’t ol’ Roy look back on the very first few series to figure out why the series gained a lot of respect by bringing normal back to the television. Since then more ’stunts’ and ’supporting’ characters have entered the programme, ruining the original concept of three old men wondering the town discussing life. Of course you cannot help the cast dying off but instead of letting the programme get into the state it is now they should have cancelled it while at it’s prime. To be honest Alan has injected too many ‘money’ shots into the programme, like Roy he should look at the earlier series with the tighter shots. Unfortunately it is too late now but the currently very long cast list should be trimmed down a lot if it is to survive the next possible series, get rid of ‘The Captain’, Morton, Nelly and all those that was not in the programme before 1992. I am happy that the Policemen are getting more scenes though as they are very welcome parts of the programme. Also please return to proper background music instead of cut and paste recordings of Hazlehursts soundtracks, I think it is best as when he made the soundtracks, all the music was perfectly timed to the characters footsteps and other situations but now just seems like interscene connecting music which is not what it is supposed to be.

Conclusion, look at your own mistakes. Less is more. So heres to making series 31 a good one!

BBC Two Refresh

BBC Two refreshed their branding today but taking their last ‘refresh’ into account, how long will this one last?

Some Adventures of the Inventor of the Mother Stitch

The first proper episode of Series 30 of Last of the Summer Wine was Some Adventures Of The Inventor Of The Mother Stitch but could you tell the difference between it and I Was A Hitman For Primrose Dairies? Barely. The most laughs I got out of this episode was seeing the needlessly long title come up during the dull white opening titles. \’Hobbo\’, well lets face it, is an idiot, why does he think he was part of M15? If he is going to act like that all the time then it will get boring very, very quickly.

There was also changes of characters. Glenda has changed from a naive but feisty middle aged madam to a nosey parker who ignores her husband to stare at \’The Captain\’. Pearl has also changed from a sarcastic sadistic shrew into a calm and dull wife, the old pearl would always keep Howard under control at all times. Also, please, why are there so many people with square heads and short messy grey hair? It is very hard to keep up who is who.

Storywise, was there any storylines? It all seemed to be random exerts of standard conversion sequences. Why has so much changed since only series 29 which was in my opinion one of the best series.

If it ain\’t broke, don\’t fix it. No wonder the BBC say they ma not commision another series. Stop at an even number.

Red Nose Day 2009

Red Nose Day 2009

Originally uploaded by Black Telephone

I have done my bit for Comic Relief Red Nose Day 2009 by purchasing all three of this years Red Noses – This One, That One and The Other One! I shall also be watching the ‘Comic Relief’ night tonight from 7pm on BBC One. Slightly hacked off that there is not an episode of EastEnders on tonight but since it is for ‘charity’ I will forget about it.

The Krypton Factor Episode 3

This will be my last review of the new generation Krypton Factor as it has settled down now. Although very largely the same as last weeks episode, this time the Mental Ability round has got even more stupid (you have to see it to believe it!) and the russish assault course.

Where is the assualt course? It is at Adrenalinny in North Yorkshire!

I rather like this new version of The Krypton Factor after all we have been waiting over a decade for its return so we shouldn’t complain about it.

BBC One Still Nods

Oh don’t we miss this famous globe!? With ‘Nodding’ cameras providing a mechanical masterpiece for many years, no computers just a touch of an electronic button changed it into this clear coloured Globe. Later this evolved into a ‘yellow green’ globe on a blue background, then we went into the computerised world of ‘COW’s then ‘Crystal Ball’s until it finally went live action again for a while in the ‘Balloon’s but later additions to the latter set were computer generated. Nowadays the globe is gone but a subtle ‘nod’ remains.

It has been more than two years since BBC One relaunched with it’s new ‘Circles’ look. I must say I enjoyed a break from it during last Christmas as we saw Wallace & Gromit going round in endless circles on Plasticinesnowy hills. I was quite saddened when they returned on New Years Day to the normal Idents, especially since they have been using the original six more often than before last Christmas.

In 2007 additions were added to the set and these were quite different to the originals in terms of music style and presentation. They discontinued having something red in the Ident and the red ’swoop’ in the form up were dispensed with. The music no longer had the characteristic ‘three beeps’ though the melody has stayed but now played in the same style as the rest of the soundtrack.

The latest addition was in October 2008, this being ‘Dogs’ not long after ‘Capes’ was shown for the first time. These being prime examples of the above paragraph. I must say I prefer the additions rather than the original set for the above reasons and I hope that more are on the way.

The Krypton Factor Episode 2

Was yesterdays Krypton Factor any better than last weeks? NO! Somehow they made it even worse by dumbing down the intelligence round, this time they have to place Hockey Pucks on a board of square lights. When a puck is placed on a square on the board a number of lights light up around it. The idea is that by placing the pucks in the correct order all of the lights will light to form a large rectangle shaped light!

How dull, right? The worst bit of all this is the fact there is a time limit, yes a time limit! In the original version of the Krypton Factor the Intelligence round used to go on for hours until three of the four contestants solved the puzzle, there was no time limit.

However the rest of the programme is still the same as last weeks (except of course the Mental Agility round which I think is the only interesting bit about the revival) so it will get boring very quickly, especially the nasty Assault Course.

Click Here if you want to see my review of Episode 1 of The Krypton Factor!

Click Here if you want to see my review of Episode 3 of The Krypton Factor and to find out where the Assualt Course is!

(Screenshots are Copyright ITV 2009)

Testing The Test Card

I tried to get a Test Card to show up on my televisions. After lots of button pushing I finally got one up on two of my four televisions. Both had the Test Card W (widescreen) version which includes the famous photograph of the little girl called Carol and Bubbles the Clown first seen on Test Card F 41 years ago. The code is;

1. Select 105 “BBC RED BUTTON”,
2. Wait for full screen including pics on right to appear,
3. Press yellow button,
4. Select any other BBC channel,
5. Select 105 again,
6. Wait for pics as before,
7. Press green button – at bottom of screen it should say “press
   green for test card”
8. Press green button again, and wait a few seconds.

The Test Card should come up however this may not work with all Freeview set top boxes as it only worked on mine as they were stand alone. Have a go and bring back your 70s memories!

If you want to watch an intended broadcast of the Test Card, watch BBC One from 04:30am on the 12th January!

The Krypton Factor 2009 Style

Not much to say about the ‘new’ Krypton Factor other than it is utter tripe.

Opening Titles:The Krypton Factor is sponsored by Sage but the advert intercepts with the opening credits so you cannot tell if it is an advert or not. OFCOM may be interested in this! The music is completely different to what we recognised, the one composed by Art Of Noise. It is of the University Challenge style, ie strings, percussion (real music, not this synthesized rubbish). It is not that bad but not that good neither.

Meeting the contestants: As usual there are four contestants, each assigned to a particular colour (although unlike the original version, they do not wear something that matches that colour) Red, Green, Blue and Yellow. They introduce them in the same format as the original version only it is not incorporated into the opening titles. But this is not the last we hear of them…

Mental Agility:Yes the famous ‘Krypton K’ morpths into a logo for each round still. This time the contestants have to take a Metal Agility test inside the ‘Krypton Kube’ for no apparent reason as the Audience and new host Ben Shepherd can hear everything that is being said and what they are doing. Before they play, however, we have to hear more about each contestant in a very long clip about themselves, narrated by the contestants themselves of course. This probably being the reason the Response Round didn’t make a comeback. One interesting feature about this is that we can view the contestants heart rate!

Observation:Yes the swiveling chairs are back so the contestants can watch their mini televisions which rise up from behind them. This time we had to watch a clip of Emmerdale and answer questions about it, although to make it a bit harder they slightly sped up the clip! After watching the clip the sets background turns to whatever colour the contestant is and they then answer the questions Ben asks. The questions are surprisingly hard, one even asking what the picture is on the calender after she accidentally turned the page on it trying to find the Fire Extinguisher!

Intelligence:After the ruddy commercial break (come on ITV the programme has only just started) we come to the Intelligence round. They had to arrange coloured blocks to form the letters KRYPTON only there is a catch! They could not see the table and had to look at a screen next to them but the picture was flipped! Ben also makes a commentary over this round. Although it sounds too scripted he did a good job at it.

Physical Ability:Yes, the bit everyone remembers, The Assault Course is back. It is any better than the old one, no. First of all where is the Assault Course? All they have to do is ‘climb’ up a Tree and go down a Zip Wire, over and under beams jump one foot into a mud puddle and under a cargo net. This is nothing compared to the original. The course is set in the middle of the Yorkshire Dales in the middle of a forest so you cannot see the course very well on screen, this is not helps by the close camera shots and the ‘Krypton Kam’ on the contestants head. 10 minutes? That is a ridiculous time for a man, someone who weighs twenty stone could do better than that. Both the woman done in half that time. Also what is with two races? The Woman are in Race 1 and the Men are in Race 2. I thought they were supposed to race against all of each other? Anyway back at the studio…

General Knowledge: The last round is very different to the original, primarily being the lighting. Not relative you might say, well if you saw the original version of The Krypton Factor you would understand what I am talking about. The set is still lit green although the scoreboards are in the contestants colour which changes into the solid colour when they press the buzzer. The questions still have the previous answer in them which is a nice quaint touch.

So that is about it really. How can something so different feel the same?

Click Here if you want to see my review of Episode 2 of The Krypton Factor!

Click Here if you want to see my review of Episode 3 of The Krypton Factor and to find out where the Assualt Course is!

(Screenshots are Copyright 2009 ITV)